Wednesday, 16 April 2014

People Should Smile More

The shy smile.
The nervous smile.
The 'you have to be kidding me' smile.
The 'I'm so glad you walked into the room' smile.
The sexy smile.
The great big toothy grin.
The 'it's threatening to turn into a belly laugh' smile.
The 'I'm up to something' smile.
The 'I'm so proud of you' smile.

There are so many more smiles than this in the world, all with their own unique magic. Even the polite 'please go away' smile is nice in it's own way. At least someone is trying to be nice  to another instead of just telling them to '*$%~ off'

We all love those little rays of sunshine that even on the greyest day brighten your life. But I can't help feeling that bacteria could learn a something from the little ol' smile. It is the most contagious thing I have ever observed, one smile and a couple of seconds later it spreads to the next person and the next and the next. It's one thing I never mind catching though!

But if there isn't one around to catch and you haven't got a reason to smile, try faking it for a never know, it might turn into a real smile and start a epidemic.

My munchkins...two of the best smilers in the world (of course I am completely biased) and they infect me every day. Who have you infected lately? When was the last time you smiled at a passer by or a cashier and brightened their day? May be we should start smiling more?

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Right around the world...

That's about how far I feel I am going on this learning curve!

At the beginning of this year I set myself a target to write my first full length draft of a book. I didn't think it would be easy. However I also didn't expect to have to learn so much about myself either.

The theory of writing is easy, there's one main rule....

Just write.    From the series: Have Typewriter, Will Travel by Kelli Russell Agodon  inspiration for #writers
Found on Pinterest

So why in the hell do I find this so hard? I can't seem to settle into a writing routine, mainly because our lives don't seem to have a stable routine. And then when I do find a day, like today for example when I have a glorious amount of time to myself where I could write, I find I can't. Please, don't say it, I can already hear my Grandma telling me there is "no such word as can't." I know there isn't, I know this is all in my head and I just need to get over it but as Mr Gaiman nice puts it, "it's that easy and it's that hard."

24 Quotes That Will Inspire You To Write More
Link to original and some other amazing quotes

My realisation today is that I am a very emotional writer. I don't mean in terms of my actual writing, although I do hope that is packed with emotion, I mean if my emotions are slightly off kilter then I really struggle writing. Take today a great opportunity wasted because all I wanted to do was this:

view original here

After all it would have been better than someones face! Then I just ended up in a self-perpetuating cycle of anger, getting angry with myself for letting my emotions get the better of me. Allowing logic to take over I realised that this is me and it's going to happen over and over again, so I can stand there screaming every time or I can find a coping mechanism and fast before I run out of time!!

view original here 
Tea? Apparently not, though very tasty (Thanks Deb for the pin!).

A walk in the fresh air. Apparently tweeting birds are good for the mood, or so I've heard. Ok this one helped a little bit, and much better than the hours of procrastination on the internet!!

But do you know the one thing that helped more than anything today was my friends! You guys between you all defused the ticking bomb, making me feel more balanced and ready to face the screen. 

Even though I may not have made the headway I wanted to in terms of writing today I know a little more about me and I'm a step closer to working out how to do this!! Oh to have worked all this out when I was younger.

Can you pin point what you have learnt about yourself during your writing journey? Are you still learning more every day? And is that the point, do we write to learn more about who we are?

Monday, 24 March 2014

The Dream

The pressure of his thumbs working into her shoulders felt divine. The weight of his fingers curling over her collar bone pulled the stress of the day away. She closed her eyes and sighed enjoying the moment, breathing in the smell of the outdoors that he brought with him. Each mirrored circle moving up her neck was bliss pulling a smile at the corner of her lips.

"Better?" he whispered into her ear.

"Mmmmm" was all she could muster as he started to trail kisses down her jaw line. "But now I know this will all end soon."

"Why?" he asked, confusion laced in his voice.

"Because I have wished for this so many times. Coveted those hands, lingered over those lips so many times. But I will never actually feel the relief like this." She sighed, water lacing her lashes threatening to over spill to her cheek. She almost wished it would then her would wipe it away tenderly like he always did. "You are just a dream my love, nothing more. A fantastical and wonderful illusion that I will wake up from shortly"

"Are you sure about that?" he enquired with a twinkle in his eye that she had never seen before, he usually just looked as sad as she did. Her dreams were getting cruel.

"Pretty sure. When I close my eyes you'll disappear and this will never have happened, except in my heart"

"Try it and see then, but lets hope the temptation to tickle you when you have your eyes closed is not too great"

So with a deep breath she looked deep into his ice blue eyes, lingering on the tiny dark flecks and closed her eyes allowing the tear to slide down her cheek...

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

"To live will be an awfully big adventure" JM Barrie

Ok we all have these inner demons. And fighting is them is bloomin exhausting! So why the heck do we do it? Why keep fighting? Why not just roll over and let them win? I mean for me the worst it would mean is going to work (at at job I love, 99% of the time), coming home and chilling with a book or the tv, spending some time with my kids and maybe getting some time to do the housework. How is that scenario so bad?

image from morgueFile 

It really isn't, however if I fight my demons for just one moment, if I decide to live that big adventure then life can be like this...

credit here on tumblr

In those glimpses when you conquer a demon, even temporarily, life can feel infinite!

That's why I keep fighting. For that leap in my heart when I finish a story, good or not its complete and it came from me. Right now my heart is leaping, so here's to a completed story and here's to feeling infinite.

Here is my song to feel infinite to today. It was glorious driving with the windows down today, the sun was shining and this song was perfect. I defy you not to want to dance around the room to this song. But what is your song to feel infinite to?

Thursday, 6 March 2014


You know sometimes I think I'd rather fight this

Or even

Than face some of my own inner demons!!

I try most days to face them, as I'm sure most of us do, but lately I find myself escaping into various fantasy worlds. Absorbing the words of other authors, book after book every spare moment just to escape. Avoid the housework, sidestep those nagging demons that weigh inside.

Today was a day I set out to face them, and I failed miserably again. I gave one particularly ugly looking and abusive demon a sideways glance but then ran in the opposite direction. His weaker brother I managed to face. I kicked him in the goolies and even though he distracted me from the sidelines a blog post was written, not as eloquently as I would have liked but a seemingly insurmountable hurdle at one point was overcome. I wonder though how long it will be before he is back to full strength?

One demon though shocked me with the ferocity of it's attack. A once caged and bound beast that broke free of its bonds to strike today, knocking me flat and pinning me to the floor. The only problem being, this demon is one I really don't mind pinning me to the floor even though I know in my heart of hearts its truly no good for me.

I need to remember the days when I dreamt of being a Slayer, defeating the things that haunted me. Back then things were simple, back then I wasn't fighting myself!

How do you fight your inner demons? Can you ever free yourself of them or does another rise as fast as you cut one down?

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

You're My Hero

We read stories every day packed full of hero's. Watch films hoping for the hero to prevail. How often have we been asked who our hero's are?

Once of a day I would have answered that question with a person. Not particularly because of that person but because of what they stood for, their fight for the greater good.

see here for source

Mandela was a symbol of something for me for a long time and I mourned with everyone else when he died.  But I realised recently that as much as I admired him for all he did in his life I no longer think of him as my hero. I've been wondering if this is a consequence of growing older; 'another year older, another year wiser' and all that. Or does it have more to do with everything I went through last year? Maybe I will never truly know the reason but for me more regular people have become my hero's.

So how is it that you, yes you, could potentially be my hero? Well, there is a possibility you could save my life. You see I have a blood condition similar to Hemophilia where I don't clot very well. Little bumps and cuts aren't so bad but bigger things or operations require medical attention and often blood products. Most of my life I have seen this as an inconvenience; yearly check-ups and nothing to report. But recently things have changed. I have come to see the importance of the small acts of heroism that everyone is capable of that could save my life or that of the person stood next to me. Those small parts of themselves given selflessly for others. These people, Blood Donor's, are my are my hero and thank you!

So who is your hero? Have your perspectives changed at all? Have a listen to this and let me know.

And if you can, read the book before you see the film, one of those books I couldn't put down recently!!

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Lost in the Music

What is music to you?

I have been thinking about music a lot lately. It has such a key role in my life (like you'd never guess from my posts) that when I had a conversation with my Other Half a few weeks ago and it turns out that music doesn't really affect him that much, it really shocked me. I don't know why it did, I mean obviously not everyone has the same interests but the fact he didn't even have a go to song when he needed a pick me up...I just couldn't comprehend that!

Music means so many different things to me, I can't understand the 'it's just something to listen to' mentality. I'm sorry if you fall into this category, if the lyrics float over your head and never really connect with your emotions or the thumping bass has never caught in your chest making you feel the beat in your core. No truly I am really sorry because to me music is something that can calm me, it can pick me up, it can move me to tears as easily as it can make me smile and if it doesn't affect you in any of these ways I don't know what to say. I'll just try to sum it up as best I can the only way I can.

For me it's the songs that you cried to as a teenager or the anthem you pumped out to make you feel stronger.

My Anthem!

The songs filled with memories; the ones from our wedding, the song that was playing when munchkin number two was born (there were too many drugs involved with munchkin one to be totally sure!)

Munchkin number two's arrival

Lyrics that mark the end of an era and the start of a new one, packed with memories of someone I miss tonnes.

I was exactly where I needed to be!

Would I have made it through last year without a group of amazing friends who helped me when time were tough? Probably not, and you guessed it there is a song for that too. Every time it comes on I think of them and how grateful I am they are in my life, every time one of us is in need we are there for each other...we're not brothers we are sisters but the sentiment is the same!

Because sometimes we need reminding we are not alone!

Then there is the album that will forever be linked to munchkin one and her first rock concert. The moments and the songs that we shared that will be brought back every time those songs are played. The look of awe and amazement on her face, the huge balloons, the shock form those around us that a kid, a girl at that, could like music like this. I'll admit that I was in my 20's before I got to a decent concert and in my 30's before I got the feeling of being shoulder to shoulder bouncing to the beat and getting lost in the music along with those around you. I am glad my children will have had a chance at that sooner, it is one of the best experiences in the world.

Not my favourite on the album but the first song played so special memories!

Finally there is the huge role that music plays in my writing, even my reading to a certain extent - as my writing group can tell you I have been know to attach songs or even playlists to characters or story/books that I have read....I make no apologies for what my brain does in it's spare time! I have said before that I am very visual with writing and pictures lead to inspiration, well the same can be said of music too. Songs and lyrics lead to characters, scenes, plot twists and lines of poetry even at the most inconvenient moment half way down the motorway!

What is music to me? My memories, my characters, my friends, my tears and my escape. I went to a 30 Seconds to Mars concert in November which was great, but I'm telling you because at it Jared Leto dedicated a song at one point to anyone who had ever used music or been to a gig as a way to escape. It will make sense when you listen to this last song that I am going to leave you with, it is one of my favourites of the matter what Get Back Up!!!

So while you listen to this one, what is music to you?